I'm a Rover!

I am now officially a contributor to Red Rover Style. They bring the worlds of fashion and charity together is such a sophisticated way. They support a number of charities and do amazing work for each one. And they look great doing it! I am extremely excited to be part of their team and look forward to the great things I'll have the opportunity to contribute to!

YAY for this opportunity!

My Journey to Greatness

Oftentimes, I imagine myself doing something great and amazing like speaking in front of a room full of women or leading a youth group on a volunteer trip in another country, and then almost immediately I start to feel anxious. I start thinking of my insecurities, doubts and fears and quickly abandon the original thought to relieve the anxiety. What I've grown to understand is that anxiety is what it is but how you perceive it and interpret it makes a difference. While the physical reaction might be very similar, we view excitement and nervousness as two different things. It may be true that the anxiety has some nervousness in the mix because of the fear of something new and/or unknown, but I find it so much easier to tackle new and challenging situations when I think of that anxiety as excitement and use it my fuel.

Even though I now know this, I still have moments when I go from thinking I want to set a goal of positively affecting the lives of 1 million children in my lifetime to maybe I'll just focus on my cousins and help them do better in school. While both are important, I know that the second statement comes out of fear of the first. My mom tells me often that I do not yet fully understand my greatness. Although I've accepted myself as someone who is intelligent among other positive qualities, I am now catching glimpses of what she means. I know that it is my calling to do something phenomenal, as it is for all of us no matter how we choose to do it.

When I start slipping into those moments of doubt, I now remember the words from Marianne Williamson: "Your playing small does not serve the world...we are all meant to shine..." (which comes from the popular passage "Our Deepest Fear" from one of her bestsellers A Return to Love.

So when I think about backing down from the challenge of pursuing my calling, I remember that that will not have the impact I want to have. And ultimately, I will be very unhappy if I went with that decision.

Have you ever felt like that? Had an idea of something great you wanted to do and almost immediately talked (or thought) yourself out of it? How do you motivate yourself?

I thought I'd share the entire passage because it is powerful.

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear
is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness,
that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually who are we not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people
won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine as children do.
We were born to make manifest
the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And when we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

- Marianne Williamson

A Return to Love: Reflections on the
Principles of "A Course in Miracles"

This image is the me that is able and will do everything she has been called to do.

Happy Hour: Agozar

So I didn't make it to FOUR last night, but I did make it to Agozar Cuban Restaurant tonight. I met some fabulous ladies, including Danielle Fabulosity herself. It was so uncanny that a friend suggested that I join her meetup group, only to find that my namesake is quite like myself. An adventurous traveler and social organizer, just fabulous all around, she was more than a pleasure and a wonderful host for tonight's event.

Happy hour offered two-for-one tapas and drinks. After the mariquitas (plantain chips with yummy guacamole and black bean hummus), cubanito (a cuban sandwich slider), Pasion a Agozar (that had passion fruit juice!) and a Cubano Colada, I certainly had a happy hour.

Room Transformation: Phase 3

As I mentioned before, I'm in the midst of a bedroom transformation. I've finally reached a point where I feel I can share my progress.

Exhibit A: The To Do List

I believe I'm more than half way through it. I've done the major changes:

• I've cleansed the room of excess papers, magazines, miscellaneous trash and clothes (which I decided that I'm going to donate to GEMS and possibly Bottomless Closet).
• I went with three gray walls to create a calming atmosphere and one purple wall to inspire some creativity and incorporate my favorite color!
• After some paint research, I went with Sherwin Williams because I felt most comfortable with their sales representative. She was so helpful. I'm such a sucker for good customer service. (I will mention that the odor was a bit strong and lingered for several days afterward. Next time I will make sure to add that as a factor in my paint research as well.)
  
• I moved the bed, dresser and desk, trying to incorporate some feng shui tips
  

Now it is more about customization and decorating. There is more to come...time to add some more personal flair.


Before


















After

Craving a Yummy Cocktail

T.G.I.F. Oy vey!

It has gotten to the point where I lose track of the days and honestly cannot remember what my week consisted of. My body is telling me that I'm tired from something, but without some serious conscious effort I do not know what from. And quite frankly, I'm not willing to use the mental energy to figure it out right now.

Between working at the restaurant, where I'm now training to be a bartender (woop woop!), and networking events, meetings, and other obligations, all usually in the city, my calendar is pretty packed. It has just become the nature of my life at this point that I am most busy during the evenings into the night (or even early morning). My mornings are then dedicated to writing, planning and things of that nature. A day off for me does not mean the same thing as it does for most people. My day off usually involves a to do list of writing assignments and/or errands to catch up on.

The craziest part about it is that I LOVE IT! I sometimes stop and realize, I am living the life I want! That is an AMAZING realization. I have a flexible schedule at my "day job," which allows me to pursue my passion as I please, and in the process I have come across some amazing people and experiences. It is not all peaches and roses. There are times when I come home numbly exhausted from a double shift, or when a clone of myself is the only way I can really be at all of my simultaneous obligations, or when the one, sometimes two, hour travel time from the city seems daunting. However, I have accepted that these are the choices I've made to have the life that I want, and I am OKAY with that. Honestly, I could not imagine it any other way.

With that said, this was one of those weeks when I am tired and honestly don't know why. What I do know is that I am craving a yummy cocktail, and I know exactly which one. It is from Harlem Lanes. I believe it is a Passion Fruit Martini rimmed with brown sugar. I may not remember the details of the drink, but I do remember how I felt when I tasted it and savored each sip. It was fruity, which always sends my mind to a tropical island, and the sweet crunch of the sugar was the bonus that I loved most.

It was such a pleasant surprise because I did not expect such a cocktail at a bowling alley, but it is clear that they take their cocktails seriously. For example, the Yin Yang Martini. Many of us have seen different versions of a Chocolate Martini (which is probably my favorite drink), but THIS one is extra cute. They garnish it with cookie crumbs in the shape of the yin yang.

Next week's agenda includes a friend's birthday outing to FOUR, and I'm so excited because I've wanted to go there for a long time. I plan to try a fun, new cocktail.

Bloggers Social

Yay for another great event. Despite the rain, the Bloggers Social at Stitch went well. It turned out to be an intimate gathering. There were some great people in the room and even greater connections made.

Of course, it is always pleasure working with Desiree and Rachel from Red Rover Style (as pictured). I finally met Lauren Fairbanks of LifeStlyer Magazine, which was such a pleasant surprise. The person that made an extra special impression on me was Rachel from CatchAFire.org. Catch A Fire is an organization that connects professionals with non-profits that can use the skills that the professionals have to offer. I was so surprised to hear how low volunteerism is in New York. Rachel's presentation lit a fire under my butt to get going on my volunteer efforts. I caught the fire (Sorry, I had to say it.)

Here are some pictures from the event.

OMG! I'm gonna be on TV!

Hopefully you'll see me.


A few weeks ago I went to a taping of the Rachael Ray show! (Now I can cross that off my Life To Do List. YES!) And yes it was as cool as I'd hoped it would be.

The experience was great from the beginning: I was comforted to see such a friendly staff. The opening comedian/show hype man (I wish I wrote his name down. I'm going to do some research to find it) was hilarious and set a great tone for the show.

I remember how excited I was when Rachael first introduced her rotating set, and experiencing it was even cooler than I imagined. I was so happy to find out that Rachael Ray is just as personable as she seems. In some dead time in between the taping, the audience got the opportunity to ask her questions, which she was more than happy to answer candidly. Although she did admit that she was tired (I can't even imagine what her schedule is like), she quickly got into the swing of things. PLUS, she had on some really cute peep-toe booties that are on now on my wish list.

No visit to the Rachael Ray Show would make sense without a tasty treat. We got some cupcakes from Butch Bakery. The owner is a former Wall Street executive, who reinvented himself with a mission to also transform cupcakes into a manly snack. With unique, masculine flavors, like Rum & Coke and Beer Run, the cupcakes are so big that I felt like I was eating a cheeseburger.

There was a fun segment with Ted Danson, who was there to talk about his show Bored To Death. There was also a brief segment on the Jonas Brothers' Day Made Better Campaign, in which they collaborated with Office Max to donate school supplies to a school in California. (For some reason, that segment aired on September 29th.)

With a Bored to Death DVD, a Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam DVD, a copy of Rachael Ray Magazine, and some more snacks to show for it, I must say that I had a GREAT time.

The show is airing on Tuesday, October 19th. My DVR is already set. I hope you can catch it. Look for me!

Blog Action Day: Water Solutions

I also wanted to share these practical solutions that the Blog Action Day team sent:

Water solutions:

The good news is that there are great organizations working on solutions and new tools that empower people to do their part to address the water crisis.

• Building Wells: Organizations like Water.org and charity: water are leading the charge in bringing fresh water to communities in the developing world.
• Technology for Good: Do you want to measure how much water it took to make your favorite foods? There's an app for that. More Info »
• Conservation Starts at Home: The average person uses 465 liters of water per day. Find out how much you use and challenge your readers to do that same. More Info »
• Keeping Rivers Clean: We can all take small steps to help keep pollution out of our rivers and streams, like correctly disposing of household wastes. More Info »
• Drop the Bottle: Communities around the world are taking steps to reduce water bottle waste by eliminating bottled water.More Info »

Blog Action Day: Water

When I first registered for Blog Action Day 2010, I had no idea what to write about. I knew that I wanted to be a part of this great effort, but I didn't know what I could say about the issue of clean water. I could not think of a way that I am personally connected to this issue. It wasn't until watching the first of the Chilean miners rescue that I remembered that feeling of worldwide unity that I felt during September 11th, the Haitian earthquake and other tragedies. During these times of extreme tragedy we come together for an immediate response, and we remember how we are in some way connected.

It was then that I realized that I am in some way connected to this issue of clean water and I just have to figure out how. After reading some of the startling statistics about the effects of the lack of clean water, I became overwhelmed with gratitude that I live in a place where clean water is accessible. I couldn't even imagine a life without clean water. I immediately thought of all the things I use water for. That was it. That is how I (and everyone who is fortunate enough to have access to clean water) am connected to this issue.

I learned about the idea of "water footprint," which pretty much refers to our water consumption. Waterfootprint.org gives a more thorough explanation of what the water footprint and how it varies in different regions. From what I gathered, we (especially in the United States) consume too much water and it would be helpful if we reduce our water footprint. I was most excited about the page that gave specific ways to reduce your individual water footprint, including:

• using water-saving appliances, like toilet and showerhead
• turning water off while brushing teeth

I also thought about how I could conserve water when washing dishes by turning down the water pressure or soaping all of the dishes while the water is off and then rinsing them all at the same time.

There are certainly ways to conserve water when it comes to laundry as well. It could help to only wash clothes when there is a substantial load as opposed to washing just a few things.

Limiting shower time is another great way to use less water.
Waterfootprint.org also shares ways to reduce water footprint through the types of food that we eat, things we buy in the supermarket, etc. It's so interesting how everything we do has an impact on our environment, and with a few conscious decisions we could make some changes.

How are you connected to this issue of clean water? What can you do to help?

Wordless Wednesday: My Buddy and Me

I just had to participate in New York Chica's Wordless Wednesday.

This is one of my all time favorite photos because it turned out way better than planned. I posed but the little boy (who I met that day) is what makes this picture so special. Isn't he precious?

Bloggers Unite: Oct.15: Blog Action Day

After seeing this on Desiree's blog, I was inspired to register for Blog Action Day, and you should too!

Here is the message Blog Action Day wants all registered users to share:
I wanted to let you know about an important online event I’m taking part in on October 15th, called Blog Action Day. Each year bloggers from more than 100 countries come together and blog about a single important issue, and this year’s topic is clean water. The event includes thousands of blogs – including the White House blog and The Official Google Blog – and they’re looking for as many blogs to participate as possible, regardless of their size and focus.

I hope you’ll think about joining me for this event. If you want more information, check out the Blog Action Day site at http://blogactionday.change.org/.

Hope to see your post on the 15th!

Operation: Transformation

I just might become the new poster child for She Creates Change. Since starting the program I have seen some interesting progress in my life, and I'm excited to see how it continues to unfold. I cannot even express how much I would recommend a program like this to anyone looking for a change.

So in this life transformation that I am going through, I have decided to redo my bedroom. My mission is to create a space that I get excited about every time I'm in it; one that is reflective of my personality, allows me to relax, and recharges me.

I remember first getting excited about creating this space when I read Chapter 10 of Amy DuBois Barnett's book Get Yours! How to Have Everything You Dreamed of and More. When I made the decision to take on this makeover project, I reread the chapter to get some extra motivation to get started. Since starting the project I've found A Slob Comes Clean, a blog about a woman sharing her journey to an orderly home. It has been comforting to read some of her posts that express EXACTLY how I feel about how hard it is to maintain a completely clean environment in the midst of an otherwise demanding schedule. I feel like as soon as I clean my desk, I get another pile of unwanted things in the mail; or when I'm trying to clean, I run into a bunch of things that I don't know exactly where to put. However, I've accepted that it is a process and it will take some new habits to tackle this problem. What I need to do is include organization time in my schedule on a regular basis. I just found the March 2010 Issue of O, The Oprah Magazine, which addresses the theme "De-Clutter Your Life." I've already found some great articles in it, and I'm going to keep it on my desk (in a neat corner, of course) to guide me on the rest of this journey.

Operation: Room Transformation (work in progress)

Phase 1: Cleanse

-recycle excess unwanted paper

-remove unwanted furniture

-vacuum

-miscellaneous trash

-donate clothes to: Salvation Army, Dress for Success, etc.

Phase 2: Research

-feng shui

-HGTV

I picked the colors that I want for my walls. So my next step is paint shopping. Yay for progress!

I think this is called growing up :-)

10.14: FREE Bloggers Social

Since starting Her Journey, I've learned a few things about networking. One thing I've learned is to have a goal or two set prior to the event. This helps me prepare for the event and ensure that I am productive in some way. Here are my goals for the Bloggers Social:

-Use Flip cam (I forgot to take it to the soiree)
-get at least 5 tips from other bloggers
-share 5 tips with other bloggers

I'm also really excited about playing the Keep It Real Game. I got a little glimpse of it at the Soiree, and I'm looking forward to playing it again.

10.14: Another bloggers event

Desiree Frieson is on a mission! After a great Bloggers Soiree, which raised over $500 for Restore NYC, she is at it again with a FREE Bloggers Social. HerJourneyMag.com and RedRoverStyle.com are on board for another great event. As I work on building my blog, I'm really excited about meeting fellow NYC bloggers.

Here are my top 5 things from the Bloggers Soiree:
1. I met Alexis, the winner of the IAAS.com competition that I entered earlier this year. It was a surreal experience, and what was most exciting is that she was sooo pleasant.
2. Playing the Keep It Real Game. It was a very interesting game that gives you the opportunity to really think about yourself and even discover things about yourself and those you're playing with.
3. Hearing the funky sounds of Alexis Foxe. My favorite line from one of her songs was "My grandpa always said 'the early bird eats breakfast twice'" LOVED that! LOL.
4. The tremendous support that went to Restore NYC and raised awareness about sex trafficking.
5. Seeing how Desiree planned this event with undying determination was inspiring and stretched my own ideas of planning an event.

See what people had to say about the Bloggers Soiree (click to read the full articles):
-"All in all it was a great event." ~The Manifesto Part 2
-"Most importantly, this event made strides in helping to end human trafficking by providing a safe house for victims through the donations made to Restore NYC." ~Red Rover Style
-"...a fantastic event." ~Desiree Frieson

I'm really looking forward to the Bloggers Social. Get your tickets ASAP because free things go fast.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Am I the only one who refuses to listen to Eminem and Rihanna's song "Love the Way You Lie"? I will admit that when the song first came out, I was drawn to its intensity, but as I continued to listen to it a uncomfortable feeling grew. When I actually listened to the words I realized just how the destructive the song actually is. Not only is the song about an abusive relationship but the style of it mirrors it as well.

Although they may not enjoy the negative moments, some are actually drawn to the intensity that abusive relationships deliver, whether it is the intensity of the good times or just the intensity in general. What is first viewed as passion can later look like rage.

I, along with more women than you may think, have experienced an unhealthy relationship at one time or another. Thankfully, I was not in a situation that was physically harmful, but it was unhealthy nonetheless, and I was not happy.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The statistics and reality of domestic abuse are startling. Many are still blind to the issue and many others continue to be victims.

It is important that we start with ourselves. If you are in a relationship, and you are not happy (even if it not abusive), please reconsider the value of that relationship. Your happiness is more important. Also, think about your friends, if you know anyone who is not happy in a relationship, please talk to them.

There are ample resources: http://www.ncadv.org/. Please stay informed and do what you can to help those in an unhealthy situation.

In honor, of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Her Journey is hosting a giveaway. Sil Lai Abrams is the author of No More Drama, in which she shares her own experience with domestic violence. Her story is eye opening. The reality is gut wrenching, but her victory is inspiring. She uses her story and continues to spread the message that life is not simply about surviving, it is about living!

This giveaway will be open for the month of October. To enter, you simply have to comment on this post with a fact about domestic violence (i.e. a statistic, a way to prevent it). You can even share a story. At the end of October a winner will be picked and will be announced on November 1st.