Dear Brady Bunch

Dear Brady Bunch,

There once was a time when I wanted to work at Chuck E. Cheese. There was even a time when I did work at a summer camp (because I LOVE the kiddies). However. When I applied for this job the description did not include jumping over your child while balancing a tray of food. Nor did it include teaching your child the manners to not scream over everyone else when ordering (but after watching you do the same, it only makes sense).

Now don't get me wrong, I completely understand the abounding energy that resides within a child's body. I also understand that a child will only do as much as you allow him/her to do. As a once active child, I know for a fact that I NEVER ran around a restaurant (or I would not be alive to write this because my mother would have killed me with her glare alone).

And one last thing, please do not sit there and watch your child rip up napkins, open and empty sugar packets and throw food on the floor. OR let them but I will politely ask you to clean it up before you leave.

So next time please help your kids stay occupied with the crayons and paper we provide. We'll even go as far as to give you extra if necessary.

Signed,
NOT your child's camp counselor

P.S. If your child exhibits any of these behaviors, our photo source also happens to be an interesting article that may help.

Note: These letters ARE based on real life situations.

Dear Mr. Uninterested

Dear Mr. Uninterested,

Hi how are you doing today? Oh ok, you don't want to answer me? That's cool, but please don't be upset when I do not come back to your table. Yes, I will bring your drink and food, but please do not expect me to go out of my way to make any further conversation. When you ignored my attempt to be friendly, that hurt my feelings, and I do not want to talk to you anymore. Enjoy your meal...I hope you don't need anything else because, like you, I'm not interested.

Dear Sir/Madam:

Anyone who works in customer service knows that it's not ideal to share your candid thoughts with customers. Regardless of the situation, one in such a position must maintain not only a professional but also a (seemingly) pleasant disposition. However, stifling one's true sentiments can lead to loads of pent up frustration which can in turn lead to anger and a possible snap. Reading books like Waiter Rant can give you further insight into the highly stressful life of one job within this category: the waiter(waitress).

As one who understands the importance of a release (thanks to my Psych degree) I've decided to write my own "Dear Sir/Madam" letter to save my own sanity through an outlet.

Be forewarned that my language may be harsh because people have a way of pushing one to new levels of frustration, and I will not apologize for my commentary because I am forced to censor myself all too often. So this is my uninhibited sharing space.

Dear Sir Writes A Lot,
I received your letter about your unsatisfactory experience, and I would like to extend my apologies. I am sorry that I wasted my time asking you if everything was okay to only have you say yes despite your dissatisfaction. Perhaps you were afraid that I would somehow retaliate or sabotage any recooks that you may have requested. Please be assured that is not my style. I simply aim to please, and if I had been notified of the problem during your visit I would have gone above and beyond to make sure to rectify it to ensure a satisfactory dining experience. However, you chose to lie to me and then go behind my back and send a letter to the company, and now I'm upset. I just don't understand why you told me everything was okay the few times I checked on you if it was not. For future reference if I ask you if everything is okay, I'm not just hitting the points on my server checklist, I really want to make sure that everything is okay. So if you have something to say, say it to my face.
Thanks.